Jammeh cura el SIDA
El presidente electo de Gambia, el señor Yahya Jammeh, ha sacado un crítico en herboristería, y mezclando ungüentos y potingues ha logrado lo que miles de investigadores occidentales y dólares no han podido: un brebaje que cura el SIDA.
Cual dadivoso Prometeo bajó de las alturas entronizadas a traer paz y alivio al pueblo. ¿Y funciona? Hombre, si lo dice el rey...
Total, que el país se moviliza, se abandonan los anteriores tratamientos retrovirales (ya se sabe lo mala que es la medicina ortodoxa, oficial y dogmática), y cargamentos del nuevo brebaje comienzan a llegar a los hospitales.
Lo que no sabemos es si el propio presidente ha permitido que le infecten el virus VIH, para así demostrar más claramente a la plebe las virtudes de su invento.
La milagrosa cura del señor Jammeh (niños, no intentéis esto en casa) consiste al parecer en una pasta de hierbas aromáticas, una bebida amarga de color amarillo, y dos bananas. Pero como con la Coca-Cola, las cantidades y proporciones supongo que serán secretas.
Contra los descreídos, el presidente afirmó: "Sin importar lo que uno haga, siempre habrá escépticos, pero puedo asegurar que mi método es infalible". ¿Y qué tribunal (que es quien decide lo que es verdad) daría más peso a un test doble ciego que a la palabra del presidente (y sus guardaespaldas)?
Un ejemplo de descreída fue la coordinadora residente de las Naciones Unidas, Dra. Fadzai Gwaradzimba, que tras mostrar sus dudas en relación al tratamiendo presidencial, fue invitada a irse del país.
También dice el señor Yahya Alphonse Jemus Jebulai Jammeh, ex-coronel del ejército que se hizo con el poder tras el golpe de estado de 1994, que su tratamiento es voluntario, y que dice que no debe mezclarse con las drogas retrovirales porque "no deseo complicación alguna".
Para los que no lo sepan, el señor Jammeh también cura el asma, pero el SIDA queda mejor como titular. Y su partido lleva el curioso nombre de Alianza patriótica para la reorientación y la construcción.
Aquí en España dudo que Zapatero logre un éxito igual, sobretodo porque tenemos la manía de no endiosar a nadie, sino todo lo contrario, y de dejar la ciencia en manos de científicos (aunque esto último a veces logre evitarse, como hace la Generalitat de Catalunya).
Sin embargo, en la pérfida Albión sí que tienen un príncipe, Carlos, que, convertido en acérrimo defensor de la intrusión de las pseudomedicinas en la salud pública, seguro que si se empeña podría emular tal gesta.
Programa ONUSIDA, de las Naciones Unidas en lucha contra el SIDA.
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